Watching pornography is an all-too-common activity that can lead to compulsive sexual behavior or pornography addiction in many individuals. According to some studies, between 86 and 96 percent of men are viewing porn daily. This article is all about understanding the effects of porn addiction in your life so you aren’t blindsided by the consequences.
One of the best ways to address a porn addiction is to get educated about what causes it, how to overcome it, and how to repair the damage it has caused individually and in a marriage. The Couples Healing From Pornography Addiction podcast is a powerful resource where you can get tools to not only overcome your addiction permanently, but help you restore trust and connection again in your marriage or relationship.
For most men, pornography affects many parts of their lives in negative ways – their marriages, self-esteem, spirituality, finances, motivation, and sexual performance. Many men who struggle with pornography use also notice that women appear as sex objects, and it leads to unpleasant feelings in a relationship and further behavioral addiction. It often ultimately causes negative effects individually as well as with their partner.
If you want to know why you’re becoming hooked on internet pornography, there are many factors that could be behind it. There may also be other elements in your life that are pushing you toward a porn addiction or seeking sexual pleasure via sex addiction.
Porn addiction, like other addictions, can have a number of negative consequences. While there is little academic research on the effects of excessive pornography viewing, what we do know is that for many men is that it causes guilt, shame, embarrassment, sexual dysfunction, irritability and broken trust in their marriage. We look here to see more about porn addiction, and how to determine if you have one, the mental health impact of porn addiction, and how to get help.
What Is Porn Addiction?
While porn addiction isn’t recognized by some organizations like other behavioral addictions, sexual addiction comes with the label of “problematic pornographic use.”
People may have an addiction to porn if they frequently seek it out despite repeated attempts to quit, are often preoccupied with thinking about or seeking it out, and if it negatively affects a person’s life, including work, school, and social interactions, may be impeded by their desire to view porn. Other interests may be wiped out because of pornography.
A man’s urge to consume porn may drive them to watch it in public areas, such as at work or on public transportation. A hypersexual disorder can be a type of porn addiction, while other sexual behavior disorders include excessive and compulsive masturbation and cybersex.
Signs of Internet Pornography Addiction
Excessive pornography use often takes up a lot of time, focus on other important tasks, and other negative consequences.
Here are some of the main signs of someone struggling with an addiction:
- Sexual activity which is detrimental to your health
- You use internet pornography to cope with emotions such as pain, worry, and despair.
- You use internet porn to overcome sexual dysfunction
- Porn consumption at unsafe times and places
- You feel defensive as your partner requests you cut back on using sexually explicit material.
- Despite your best efforts, you have withdrawal symptoms, and you can’t stop watching porn.
- You feel ashamed of being addicted to porn yet can’t break the habit.
- You feel less sexual satisfaction through sexual contact with a partner and move further into more excessive porn consumption.
- Sexual intercourse offers less sexual dissatisfaction.
- You keep your real-life partners in the dark regarding the sexual desires you feel from your porn addictions.
What Causes Porn Addiction?
Addictive behavior is caused by a variety of factors, and experts such as those from the American Psychological Association agree several factors may play a role in sexual addiction. Many individuals experience porn in the same way as they try drugs for the first time. Should porn use make them feel happy, then it can easily spiral into deeper porn use, like if you slipped into alcohol abuse or substance abuse.
Should such an individual become addicted to porn, it could take more porn to meet their needs of satisfaction, and thus affect family life. Porn addiction can also be caused by other mental health conditions, such as:
- Depression
- Anxiety disorder or deeper mental health problems
- Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD)
- Obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD)
- Narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) is a personality disorder where sexual abuse can help relieve mental anguish.
As a consequence, excessive porn use and dissatisfaction with sexual routines have led to some individuals turning to internet pornography in order to fulfill virtual sexual fantasies. Cultural standards can also lead to porn addiction, as some cultures dictate how people should dress, and act, thus this image could be found through porn use.
Porn addiction, like other addictions such as substance addiction, can be described by “classical conditioning” concepts. Here, an action, such as viewing porn, is reinforced, or rewarded through the feel-good factor of climax and the body’s sexual desire.
Viewing porn appeals to a basic natural drive, making it easy to become addicted, and porn use is easier than seeking partners who wish to take part and without chances of catching sexually transmitted disease. Sexual pleasure is an issue that can become a problem when it becomes excessive, impulsive, and leads to sexual violence or excessive porn use interferes with other activities.
Effects of Porn Addiction
Because porn is so widely available, it’s easy for someone to fall into porn addiction. Subjects who watch a lot of erotic material had heightened brain reactivity when faced with sexual content, according to a study on porn’s addictive nature. When people with substance or gambling addictions face addictive triggers, they have a similar reaction.
However, besides alterations in brain activity, when addicted to porn, you can find the following side effects:
- Irritability
- Guilt
- Shame
- Loss of desire for other things in life
- Dissatisfaction with sex in a relationship
- Always seeing new and different material to satisfy the urge
Loss of Intimacy Between Partners
Although anyone can become addicted to pornography, men are more likely to do so, which can be troublesome for their spouses. Men who frequently consume pornographic content have been shown to emotionally withdraw from their partners. Following their excessive use of porn, these men develop secretive characteristics and can lead to relationships and chances of catching a sexually transmitted disease.
Porn Can Affect Your Partner’s Self-esteem
When a partner notices their partner withdrawing physically and preferring porn—it can devastate their self-esteem. Questions about their ability in bed, their partner’s interests, and other areas may overwhelm a person with this hypersexual disorder. It can take a healthcare professional who is trained in such psychological distress to carry out couples therapy.
Pornography Affects Sexual Satisfaction
Women often compare themselves to other attractive women after they discover their husband’s addiction. They often feel not good enough and begin to feel self-conscious because they don’t feel like they compare porn. It’s not uncommon for unhappy couples to compare themselves to actors they see.
Porn Addiction Can Affect Daily Functioning
Being glued to a screen showing sexual material can affect your work, social gatherings, or studies. The more someone is consumed with wanting to watch porn, their functioning at work, other interests, and other responsibilities suffer. They become disengaged with their family and start to isolate more and more.
Porn Addiction May Cause Mental Health Challenges
Mental health disorders have been connected to a rise in pornographic demand. Excessive pornographic use by some has been seen to pose mental health effects that cause erectile dysfunction, loss of focus and satisfaction with life, depression or anxiety. A mental health disorder need professional advice from trained professionals who understand that such issues are often a result of an unresolved set of inner issues.
Side Effects Of Porn Addiction On Adolescents and Teenagers
Studies show that children are first exposed to pornography at around eleven years old. Most kids aren’t actively searching looking for porn, yet it is so easy to find they stumble upon it. They simply aren’t prepared to view the images that they find on the screen and it often hooks them at an early age.
Stunted Sexual Development
Adolescents and teenagers are in the phase of learning about their sexuality. This is when most people date and develop relationships with real people (instead of just images on a screen), and sexual activity is new and exciting. However, porn can negatively influence the way boys see girls because of how porn scenes objectify women.
Sets Unrealistic Expectations For Sex
Pornography is well-known for portraying unrealistic sexual fantasies. Inexperienced teenagers are unaware of the distinction. They can accept the sex at its value and conclude that everyone else is doing the same thing. As a result, they may put pressure on themselves (or their sexual partners) to do specific things or behave in certain ways. It negatively affects their sex lives and destroys trust in the relationship.
Increased Pregnancies and STDs
Most pornography, you see, has a lack of condoms. Viewers of porn won’t see any safeguards from actors, and the material that men are exposed to can shape their perception on sex.
Increased Rates Of Child Pornography
When people watch online pornography, they are more likely to send sexually explicit texts and photographs. However, sending nude images and via sexting may be deemed child pornography in several areas.
Negative Body Image
Porn viewing is linked to decreased self-esteem and body image in young women, according to research. Teenage boys who consume porn are also more prone to criticize their spouse’s body.
Increased Technology Dependence
Porn addiction and Internet addiction are two things that might happen at the same time. Teenagers may isolate themselves to be with their technological devices. This, of course, can stifle social interactions, hamper emotional regulation, and exacerbate mental health issues.
Effects Of Porn Addiction In Adults
Adults are affected by porn addiction in a variety of ways.
Normalization of Intimate Partner Sexual Violence
Because pornography may be so vivid and violent, people who are battling addiction may internalize the idea that this kind of sex is appropriate.
Increased Rates of Viewing Deviant Porn
Porn addiction resembles other types of addictions in the sense that people can become habituated to their “drug.” For example, someone using opioids may first take one prescribed a few times per week. Two years later, they’re injecting heroin daily.
Increased Rates of Depression
People who watch pornography daily are more likely to be depressed than those who watch it 3-5 times a week or less.
Relationship Dissatisfaction
Relationships and marriages can be destroyed by porn as almost half of the sex addicts end up divorcing as ones who take part in excessive cybersex or pornography lose interest in their sex lives with their spouse.
Divorce
A range of issues, including porn addiction, influence separation, and divorce rates. In over 70% of divorce cases, one partner meets someone new on the internet. Many people are also spending more time on the internet, where they indulge in cybersex in chat rooms.
Treatment For Porn Addiction
Getting treatment can feel scary at first, but it is possible totally to permanently overcome addiction. There are many different options for treatment, but the most important thing that you can consider as you’re seeking help is whether the approach will actually resolve the underlying issue that is leading to addiction.
Eliminating Your Triggers and Urges For Porn
The best type of individual counseling focuses on helping men effectively deal with their triggers, because without knowing how to identify and eliminate them, you’ll always be vulnerable to another relapse.
For example, let’s say you see an attractive woman at the gym and it triggers you to think sexual thoughts about her. Later on at night it can turn into scrolling on your phone looking at pictures, which eventually leads you to porn. Before you know it, it’s already too late because the temptation is so strong and you mess up again and feel guilty about it.
The key to finding freedom after you’ve identified the trigger is to reprocess it internally in a way that eliminates the power it has over you. You might have any number of different triggers, but the process is the same.
Developing the ability to remove the intensity or emotional pull of your triggers is the only way to become free, because you can’t just avoid stress at work, quit going to the gym or grocery store, stop watching TV or seeing attractive women when you’re out. So if those external triggers don’t stir up the urge or desire to watch porn or compulsively pursue sex, you won’t ever begin the search in the first place.
Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, Sam Tielemans, has developed a unique approach to help men reprocess their triggers to eliminate their urges and cravings for pornography, which is often the reason why men end up relapsing, despite their best efforts to stay strong.
If you want help identifying and reprocessing triggers so you find freedom from your compulsive urges, check out this podcast episode that outlines the steps to this approach and try it for yourself.
Couples Therapy
Couples therapy can help couples fix the damage caused by pornography in a relationship. In therapy, couples get tools to rebuild trust, communicate more effectively without fighting, and to repair their sex life, but it’s critical that you find someone who is trained in dealing with the affect porn has on a marriage.
Traditional couples therapy doesn’t work when it comes to repairing betrayal and broken trust due to pornography because of the many layers that need to be worked through, and simple strategies and advice shared in traditional counseling doesn’t help couples to heal on a deeper level.
Psychiatric Medication
Porn is used by many people to cope with or escape underlying mental health issues. Medication can help to lessen the severity of the underlying negative emotions that causes someone to turn to porn as a way to cope.
Lifestyle Changes
Adopting a better lifestyle may help to reduce the frequency someone watches porn. Adding new hobbies, spending more time with friends, meditating, exercising consistently, and focusing on more self-care are all examples of simple adjustments.
Mental health is such an important concern and seeking professional medical advice from medical professionals is such an important step when necessary. It is important to note that pornography addiction is not a mental illness, rather it’s a symptom of a deeper problem, and addressing will help you overcome the addiction completely.
Are support groups helpful?
Support Groups: There are many support groups are dedicated to sex and porn addiction, but the group approach is a very old, traditional approach, and it isn’t the best fit for a lot of men. Often, the focus of these groups is on harnessing peer support to boost self-esteem and resolve. Some organizations advocate for a zero-tolerance stance on pornography viewing. Others advocate for developing a personalized recovery strategy. Most men find that getting this type of support is minimally helpful because attending a group doesn’t help men fully uncover and heal the unresolved issues that have caused their addiction in the first place.
The most successful type of treatment involves understanding the root cause of the addiction, working through and processing triggers, and helping you too completely lose the desire for pornography in the first place. The reason why men often struggle with going back to it is because there is a part of them that is pulled back in, but once a man can identify the underlying reason and resolves it, pornography no longer has a hold on him. In order to sustain permanent recovery, it’s critical to achieve freedom from the desire of porn or else a man is at risk for returning to old habits.
A resource that can help men understand how to achieve freedom from desire is this podcast episode: Resolve the Core of Addiction.
Traditional Approaches vs. Resolving the Root Problem
Using the traditional approach, it can take a long time to recovery. But if you can address the root of the addiction, you can save months or years just spinning your wheels. Changing and integrating new behaviors takes time, effort, and discipline. Don’t be too hard on yourself for attempting to improve your life for the better.
Abstinence basically means that you completely stop watching pornography altogether. This is an important step for many men who are in a relationship because their partner often feels betrayed and hurt by porn use, so ending the behavior altogether is critical for the health and longevity of the relationship.
For some people, abstinence is the best method as it eliminates pornography and all the temptations. Even if you still have overwhelming urges, you know how you stand.
Another traditional method that is sometimes taught is the harm-reduction method but it often doesn’t work for most people. It’s defined as the practice of imposing regulated constraints on pornographic viewing. These limitations will vary from person to person and some examples of harm reduction limitations are:
- Each day, week, or month, you watch porn only for a set amount of time.
- You will be viewing pornography from a particular source.
- You only carry-on watching porn with your partner.
Some people begin with abstinence and later transition to a harm reduction technique. Others go in the opposite direction. In the end, it comes down to figuring out what works best for you and your relationships.
If you need help, some people begin by searching for someone to provide medical advice based on the reason for your addiction to porn. A quick visit to a treatment center can offer you a chance to speak to a treatment provider, but not everyone knows exactly how to handle an addiction to pornography.
Finding someone who has a proven track record, who can help you through the triggers and remove the desire to view porn will be the easiest path forward. In order to sustain your progress and not fall back into old patterns. By finding out the reason for the addiction and working through your triggers, you will be able to permanently find freedom instead of having an inner battle that continues for months or years. When men are able to find peace and calm on the inside instead of the struggle of wanting to avoid looking at pornography, they truly experience a sense of freedom.
